Communication and The Self: Self-Concept

Mandyjane Slaybaugh

Interpersonal Comm.

Communication and The Self: Self-Concept

1: Text Description - We develop different characters or masks as we develop. Layers to ourselves unfold, self-concept development attributes to how we show up in the world and define our identity. From childhood to adulthood, we need to integrate who we are and what our purpose is in society or within local connections. Levels of criteria such as how I see myself or how you see me reveal how one is multifaceted and therefore reflects our self-discovery and awareness. By reflecting on our behavior, personality, gender roles, or other areas of self-concept, one develops through managing through life courses, therapy, mistakes forgiven, and self-discovery. 

2: My Example - Coming from a mix of households and unstable relationships such as my mother's in my formative years, I have developed expectations for receiving words of affirmation, validation, and confirmation. As a result of my childhood unmet psychological needs, I have fears that affect my romantic relationships. The choice to work on the previous traumas and understand my triggers has allowed me to open up to healing many of the stories that defined who I am or whom I thought I was. When I was a child, parts of myself physically, emotionally, and mentally developed based on other people's definitions or the cause of their actions, such as child services, my abusers, therapists, or relatives. A large part of my self-concept is within my self-worth. This significant component has needed support through therapy, personal development courses, my plant medicine journey, and re-connecting with my family. 

3: Lessons Learned - I have learned that vulnerability in retrieving my memories to forego the cost of negative characteristics has been the heaviest weight to carry and, more importantly, to let go of the weight by taking therapy seriously. In my previous relationships, I would find myself shutting down during conflicts, overthinking my response in conversations, developing anxiety or worse, panic attacks, the collection of smaller selves others had thought of me growing up. The thoughts revolved around being "too much" as a partner, second-guessing myself as a good daughter or sister, and being good enough at my job as an employee or co-worker. I've learned that, although unconscious, it used to be easier to play the victim in a relationship during a conflict with a partner than to take personal responsibility. What I learned about my own communication behavior is by holding myself accountable and looking within the stories of how I defined myself, I become subjective. As a result, I can unmask the layers, changeable, and remove the boxed ideas that are picked up from the walls people build around our identity.

4: Future Behavior – By mentally looking within and directing attention to one's mistakes, lack of confidence, and challenging areas, a person can prevent the heaviness that image management can cause later in relationships. It should be just as a priority to take responsibility for personal character and authentic relations as it is to pay taxes. To be a better person for oneself, mental well-being, close relationships, and within society, therapy and personal development are a part of evolution to self-growth. In a way, the necessary habits we can take daily would be self-care for mental, physical, and emotional well-being to better understand the multifaceted parts.

Toulmin's Method